Ode To The Turnlings

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Ode to the turnlings and how they typically turn.

Stealing your sparkle and unwilling to share their’s. they bring up the past and they love splitting hairs

They take your torment to make themselves terrific. They Take your bliss to make them selves horrific.

They prefer to always be on top, and rarely adjacent. Any thing juxt opposed would just need a replacement.

It comes to them while it should be coming to you. If the light were on you it would just never do.

Ode to the turnlings and how they Drain! Take your tragedy and drink your shame,

What we Are?

Do we really know what we are? Do we really know what we are especially when we are being what we are.

Do we even know we are beings “being”?

And do real eyes realize the real lies we have all been told about what we are?

The way they beat around “the bush” about what “we” are makes me wonder of what “we” are might be sort of horrendous.

I wonder if this is why I see people talking about what “we” are and how “we” should embrace it, but never actually stating what “we” are!

I wonder if the basic concept of what “we” are is the reason no one bothers to say what “we” are?

I have come to believe that “we” are is not what “we” are. it is what THEY are, and has nothing to do with me.

I have come to believe that what they are are vacated and voided human flesh vessels. Vessels filled with something maybe not quiet human. Not fully human but with a definite collective goal in mind.

So then I must ask myself if that my goal that’s in my mind? Is what they are standing for something I stand for?

No I don’t think so.

Schizophrenia and family relationships

Relationships with family and friends are very important in dealing with a schizophrenia diagnosis. In the beginning the family and friends of an individual with schizophrenia may do everything they can to help their loved one, but as time goes on, can sometimes get themselves caught up in the frustrations of their inability to actually keep treatment going or the feeling that they are being ignored by their loved one while in recovery. When you go through the process of schizophrenia recovery, relationships with family and other friends are important and can make a big difference in your recovery. If you have the right kind of support and encouragement along the way, you will find that the relationships will become stronger as you move forward and you will have the opportunity to learn how to trust again, communicate again and get through the rough patches more easily.

The first step in improving your relationship with the family is to contact your nearest schizophrenia treatment centers and look at the resources they provide for your family and friends. You can also look at the many online sources for support groups. This is an important part of your recovery and should be taken seriously if you want to see the positive changes in your relationships with family members and friends. You should know how to reach out to others when you are having problems and where you can get help. It is also important that you are willing to put yourself out there, whether through meeting with your close friends and family or attending meetings of local groups, to try to encourage them to come and help you.

You also need to take care of the important relationships with your co-workers and your professors. Your professor is probably your greatest support, but they will also be your biggest challenge at times. Even though they are not necessarily on the same level as your family members, they are still people who are going to be your biggest influence during this period of change and may need some sort of support themselves. If you are having trouble communicating with your classmates, make sure you take some time and make yourself available to people and try to make new friends and ask them what it is they think about schizophrenia and treatment. Many students are also extremely supportive and are glad to know they can talk with people like you who are in the same position as them and are trying to get through this tough time.

Death. God damned you.

Death. God damned you. You’ve been running us down. You’ve been running me down.

Death. God damned you. We’re never lost to be found. At birth you have us bound.

Death. God damned you. We’re breathed in and we’re breathed out.

Death. God damned you. You took a quarter from my whole. You’re never fully in or fully out you just traded in on his soul.

Death. God damned you. You just took your first closest step to me. But death. God damned you have have a pretty ugly way to be.

Death. God damned you. You’ve been running us down, you’ve ran me right down.

I’ll alway be scared of you. Death God damned you.

She came from inside me.

Oh my sweet little savior. I can’t believe she came from inside me.

Oh my sweet little savior. Why can’t She see how beautiful her face is to me.

Oh my sweet little savior. She is my saving Grace. I can see and feel me all over her souls face.

Oh My sweet little savior. she came from inside me. Out into this wondrous scary world so beautifully grimey.

Oh my sweet little savior. She dreams my dreams for me. She came from inside me. Forever and for always inside she stays, while outside I get to watch her grow through out all her wondrous ways.

She came from inside me.

ButtSexxx

She’s oh so wise especially when she slys.

She’s got legs to the sky and she will plot on your guy.

She’s the beautiful wreck I call buttsexxx.

She’s one hell of a mess, whip your ass in a dress. She’s the beautiful wreck I call buttsexxx.

She makes them all love being the fool. Plays the boys and makes them drool.

Deep down inside there’s a hole, something like a divide. she fills it with love, a nice place for her heart to hide.

The beautiful wreck I call buttsexxx.

You better

You better realize it’s your time, and your not going any where.

You better realize with your “real” eyes the very real lies they tell.

Settle your scores here. You better know you have less than your whole life to be stuck right fucking here.

And here is now here going nowhere. You better make peace and In the least know they think your a queer.

So have a fucking PB&j sliced in half with some milk…. and HOLD on the side of pills.

Thanks!

The Breaking

When it breaks me it comes like a thief in the night, or something like a lightning strike. it snatches me from my front seat driver’s side, As I am sneaking a peek at the astonishing beauty of its epiphanies. I am frozen in suspended bliss like a soul that’s been caught up in the deadlights

Finally i snap to like fingers and string beans only to realize im demoted rank as backseat passenger now. At first it seems refreshing to have a break from driving. The sights it showed me as  it drove me at the speed of light were always astonishing. Sometimes beautiful. sometimes terrifyingly ugly, but always nothing less than astonishing. Every door we passed was instantly opening Until we were going so fast that all the doors that we passed seemed to melt into one door. that door did not open.

I notice we begin going even faster, and the panic begins as I realize things Are getting out of control, and I have no way of taking back my position in the front seat driver side.

The fight begins. 

It continues driving on faster than the speed of light showing me what it wants to show me rather than what I’d love to see. It takes complete control and I’m left in the back seat helpless, horrified, and scared. Not knowing where I’m going and beginning to forget where I came from.

I’m stuck here no longer in suspended bliss but more like suspended he’ll. I have no way of gaining control of my own mind again.

And there I am still in the backseat, here with no way out or any way in.